After Robert Allenby’s alleged kidnapping during the Sony Open in Honolulu, Hawaii, a homeless woman had supposedly helped him get away from two bad men. Now, we have a different twist on this story that may make a little more sense.
According to the New York Daily News, a homeless man named Tao Kalili and a friend saw Allenby passed out on the sidewalk. Remember, he was in a bar with his caddie and a friend so he was probably just extremely drunk.
When Tao and his friend woke up Allenby, the 4-time PGA Tour winner went into somewhat of a defensive mode.
“He’s accusing me and my friend, ‘You guys are the ones who stole my wallet and phone. The gig is up. Just hand it over,’” Kalili said according to the New York Daily News.
“I was like, ‘Oh no. Brother, we’re the one who woke you up. We’re the one that was just helping you.’ ”
It also turns out that the homeless woman, Charade Keane, saw Allenby when he was confronting Kalili and his friend according to the NY Daily News. So the pieces are coming together.
The Daily News also mentioned that when Kalili and his friend returned after two hours, that Allenby was once again passed out on the sidewalk but with a bloody face, like in the picture above. They said that he likely fell on a lava rock which explains the bloody face.
Yup, so as expected, it turns out that the Allenby story is nothing more than a guy having just a little too much fun at the bar. A lot of fans thought this was the case and you simply can’t fool people who drink because they’re experts and know what happens when you have a little too much.
Besides, how the heck do you get kidnapped in Hawaii? Hawaii is the last place in America where you should see a kidnapping.
Plus, if he was kidnapped, wouldn’t you think he would’ve gotten beaten up a heck of a lot worse than that? His face looked like it suffered the consequences of a lava rock.
Real beatings would result in broken bones, ribs and things that are a heck of a lot worse. Especially if you were “kidnapped”. Kidnappers do way worse things.
And according to my man Ryan Ballengee of Devil Ball Golf, Allenby fell after coming out of a strip club. These things make a little more sense.
I guess the questions we ask now are, why would he lie and claimed he was kidnapped? Why doesn’t he just simply say that he had a little too much to drink? Is he smiling in that picture? Looks like it.
Could he be just trying to get some attention? His last PGA Tour win was in 2001 after all.
Crazy thing is that he’s still sticking with his story. Some golfers, especially ones who were really good like Allenby (He had four wins in just two years in 2000 and 2001) was, feel they need the attention after not being noticed in a while.
My attitude is, if you want some attention, win some tournaments or get in contention more often. He did so when he nearly won the 2012 Mayakota Golf Classic but ultimately lost to the champion, John Huh.
Plus, it’s not like his career sucked, he’s had a nice career. 13 Australian PGA wins and four PGA Tour wins in not too shabby.
So yup, I think this pretty much settles this situation. Good job detectives (You)!
But just remember, next time you go to Hawaii, watch out for the Hawaiian gangstas! H.W.A. (Hawaiians With Attitude) or the Hawaiian Homies are coming next I’m sure. They’re hit single will be called “Straight outta Lulu” !
UPDATE: Robert Allenby adresses the media. Here’s a clip of his press conference courtesy of the Associated Press.
He did give some blame to the media for making him not look like a victim although I don’t think he mentions it in the video after watching it but it was mentioned.
What Allenby needs to keep in mind is that it’s not the media making him look like he isn’t a victim. They’re called “witnesses” that saw you come out of a bar and fall.
So, this is where we’re at so far. Hopefully this thing is about over. Just a weird story. Man, and I thought I was weird!
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Posted in Golf News and tagged Australian Golf, Golf News, Hawaii News, PGA Tour News, Robert Allenby, Robert Allenby Bogus, Robert Allenby Golf, Robert Allenby Kidnapped by Colin GP Mieczkowski with no comments yet.